Dramatic Finale to Groups C + D - What's the Story Golden Glory?

Group C

Match 37:
Slovenia 2
Bojangles 70, Pistilic 81

England 1
Runny 9

England make a bright start - Peter: 'Its lovely. So long as you like peaches. Lends itself to duck pate or cheesecake.' James responds with 'that sounds like a recipe for gout,' and similar feeling amongst the lads means the writing is on the wall for the Three Lions. The Slovenian Hops in Adnams' Broadside are a more conventional hit 'would warm you cockles any old day,' (Dan) and patriotism is put aside in favour of scientific enquiry. It is found to be eminently drinkable - with a punch without the pungency. This could well have disastrous consequences for England's chances.

Other news

So, its do-or-die day for England in WC2010. Great story here from The Daily Mash about John Terry's frame of mind before the big game. Other news:- Apparently an Algerian witch doctor sent the pigeon behind the goal to cast a spell on England last Friday. Elsewhere Raymond Domenech is to write a book entitled How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Possible explanation found for poor Croatian show in qualifiers

Match 38:
USA 3
Measley30 (pen), Hold'em 40, Bubble 57

Algeria 0

The States' entry - Sierra Nevada Glissade - racks up an easy victory against the Algerians who leave COGH without so much as a goal, let alone a goal to their name. 'Fruity, lingers like a good'un,' says Dan about the US of A. Skol, the biggest, if shortest name in lager in parts of North Africa, has a torrid time. 'Light and refreshing my arse,' says Dan, whilst Stu describes it as 'flavoured water. In fact, I don't think they've bothered to flavour it.' The Executive Beer Tasters were going to ring the Skol Consumer Helpline on the side of the can, but ultimately we couldn't be bothered.

Final Group C Table

		P	W	D	L	F	A	GD	PTS
1	Slovenia	3	3	0	0	10	3	7	9
2	USA	3	1	1	1	7	5	2	4
3	England	3	1	1	1	6	4	2	4
4	Algeria	3	0	0	3	0	11	-11	0

COGH Analysis: England go home due to scoring one fewer goal than the USA - the cruellest form of elimination known to man. The Slovenians triumphed after a couple of narrow wins over their main rivals and annihilation of the Algerians, who never really stood a chance in the company of three strong opponents. England can take a lot away from this experience, but must be bitterly disappointed to be going home at this early stage.

Group D
Match 39:
Ghana 0

Germany 2
Bierhoff Jr 39, Geradehaus 90+2

Yet again there's a shutout for Star - and Erdinger does more than enough to ensure safe progress. 'It's a lovely contrast to have a bit of white beer,' says Peter, who by now has drunk enough generic piss to last a lifetime. 'Nice lid. has five stars on it, shame you can't say that about the beer,' says Stu about the African also-ran. It's plain to see by this point that beers such as Star are going to get little sympathy as we've sampled most of the big guns three times.

Match 40: Australia 4
Chippyfeel 9, Kewl 41, Floater 49, Molehill 80

Serbia 2
Yearic 29, Alcoholic 64

Coopers Sparkling Ale very well received all round. James sums it up 'Interesting and tasty. Smallest bottle in the group but packs a big punch.' Jelen Pivo also has its fans, with Dan noting it was 'very nice, which was pleasing as it came in a bottle the size of a battleship.' However, the antipodean class shone through, and it was arguable there was possibly just too much Serbian Beer knocking around to be impressed by it. At the end of the day, Coopers is a speciality world-renowned ale as opposing to above-average mass market lager. No contest really.

Final Group D Table

		P	W	D	L	F	A	GD	PTS
1	Australia	3	2	1	0	10	5	5	7
2	Germany	3	2	1	0	8	5	3	7
3	Serbia	3	1	0	2	7	8	-1	3
4	Ghana	3	0	0	3	1	8	-7	0

COGH Analysis: Australia top the table on sheer fire power ahead of a German side who'd have won most COGH groups hands down. Serbia's Jelen Pivo can also count themselves unlucky due to the company they've kept, as they have found the net nearly as many times as those who have qualified. Ghana were outclassed on a regular basis, looking the epitome of average throughout.