Not so nuts about Brazil...

A fascinating clash of cultures in Group G, with the Iberian influences of Brazil and Portugal going head to head with the totalitarian nuttiness of North Korea and the war-torn morass that has been the recent history of the Ivory Coast. Similarly, in terms of getting hold of the beers, we had no trouble with two (#Bra and #Por), whilst the other two steadfastly refused to surrender. Therefore, we have been forced to field a couple of ringers, which are:-

North Korea
Mann's Brown Ale, 2.8%
'In 2000, North Korea's leader, Kim Jong Il announced he wanted a brewery. At the same time, the Ushers Brewery in Trowbridge, Dorset, was put up for sale. A deal was done and within 18 months, the North Korean government had dismantled the brewery, shipped it home to Pyongyang, put it back together again and begun brewing “Taedong River Beer”. As you can’t get Taedong River Beer in the UK, we’ve opted for Mann’s Brown ale, the terrific traditional beer that was once brewed on the same brewing kit. A slightly sweet, malt driven creamy ale with a nutty finish.' thedrinksbusiness.com

Ivory Coast
Tusker, 4.2%
'Tusker is a medium lager, yellow in colour but with little of a head. It is quite crisp and clean and makes an ideal 'Sunday Afternoon' beer. Tusker leaves a satisfactory aftertaste. It tastes quite sweet and fruity. It has much more of a taste to it than many lagers and if you are looking for something different then this is probably worth checking out.' yoodoo.com

Brazil
Brahma, 4.8%
'This beer has a very weak bite, flowery aroma and very pleasant afertaste leaning toward citrus/grape. It almost feels as if your drinking a soda rather then a beer. There is no sickly feeling or gassyness after it goes down, not carbonated at all. I expect a large amount of synthetic ingredient, which is infact a good thing with this beer as they've managed to make it taste very-non generically stale.' thebackpacker.net

Portugal
Sagres, 5.2%
'This pale, lager-type beer is a little bland on the nose, with some mild malty notes. On the palate it is quite smooth and rich-textured, with a decent amount of dry, almost bitter-edged hoppy fruit and decent length, but it is bit too "clean" and under-flavoured for me.' Beernotes.com

Twitter Titter #1

This is a new COGH occasional feature where we pull out the tweets that have made us titter...

Enjoyed @DolphinHotel's 'North Koreans already celebrating their team's 3-0 thrashing of #Bra thanks to 62 goals from Kim Jong-Il.'

Match 13:
Ivory Coast 0

Portugal 2
Castrol 20, Contralto 69

Though we were a bit dismissive about Sagres as a 'holiday beer', it was nonetheless crisp and hoppy. However, this was less entertaining than the 'Tusker Du' comments and the exchange between Stu and Deaks.
D: 'I'm not getting anything off this.'
S: 'Reminds me of my honeymoon.'
D: 'Why? Didn't you get any?'
S: No - I went to Kenya.'
Still, such mirth was not enough to save Tusker from a two-goal turnover.

Key man: Kim Jong-Il
Match 14:
Brazil 0

North Korea 1
Jong-Il 77

Critique reached new lows as Mann's was described as a 'Paraguay wannabe', and 'it's giving me the shivers', and Brahma received a damning 'its what you'd drink on Copacobana Beach when feeling up a girl who was actually a boy.' At this point, Dan asked 'how do you spell deteriorating?' Kinda summed it all up. Low quality, apart from the five-star humour.