Wednesday, 16 June 2010

England's Glorious Return

STOP PRESS - CUP OF GOOD HOP ANALYSIS OF LAST NIGHT'S GAME: Jacques Cousteau, Inspector Clouseau, Amelie Mauresmo, Air, Nicolas Sarkozy, Cyrano De Bergerac - your boys took one hell of a beating!!!

Well then... back to the beer. It's the second Group C after the massive 'Fruit v Flowers' clash of England's Golden Glory versus Sierra Nevada of the USA.

England now face the mighty Skol, who were trounced 5-0 by Slovenia in the previous round of games.

Match 21:
Slovenia 3
Pistilic 50, Bojangles 71, 73, Beersa 89

Bubble 20, 50

When asked for reasons why he liked the Slovenian entry, Peter says 'it ticks a lot of boxes, though as a UK ale it is a bit of a wolf in Slovenian clothing,' followed by a Zola Budd / Owen Hargreaves / Greg Resedski et al analogy from James. Dan says 'the USA beer is very flowery, and if I drank I load of that I feel like I'd have to buy my wife some flowers.' It was also compared to a high-maintainence woman as it was 7.5% but didn't really taste like it was. Stu got the thread immediately: 'It looks good when you take them out, but get them home and the make-up comes off and its all - What's that doing there, move that over there etc...' Punditry out of the top of the top drawer. Deaks agreed, though was disappointed that Budweiser was not the US entrant.

Strewth! Cindy and Barbie losing interest in the beer

COGH gossip: After Robert Green's handling error against the USA, apparently Capello made him come in the next day for an extra training session, during which he had over a thousand shots fired at him and he didn't concede a single goal. Unfortunately it was Heskey doing the shooting...

Match 22:
Algeria 0

England 3
Runny 9, 53, Pilsner 88

Stu berates Algeria for not even turning up with a bottle cap. 'How f***ing dare they,' agrees Peter. 'Yeah - you've just got to look at their attitude really' - Dan. And to face it, they're not doing themselves any favours by having one of the world's worst beers as the favourite tipple in downtown Algiers. England run the show with a peach of a game - mirroring the peachy, summery flavours inherent in Golden Glory. 'More of a sprint beer than for a marathon,' says James. We'll see...

Group C Table


COGH Analysis: The Slovenians are the surprise package of the group, and have already booked their place in the last 16. England are their next opponents, whilst the US face the hapless Algerians. England seem to be sitting pretty on paper, but we're playing with beer.

No comments:

Post a Comment