Rounding up the Group Stage - Shocks Galore...

Hope these Italian fans kept hold of this coffin - only have to change one colour and wording and its perfect

Match 45:

Portugal 2
Contralto 30, Mandi 72

Brazil 1
Kooka 45+1

An encounter that will fail to live in the memory save for the fact it puts out the Boys from Brazil. 'Sagres is better than average Eurolager,' says James, 'but not much more.' Brahma elicits little praise from our panel - 'there's no Samba party going on with this - pretty dire,' says Stu. At least the Brazilians trouble the scorers at last - but all massively in vain. This will make embarrassing reading for such a great World Cup nation.

A Japanese fan outside the Danish Embassy in Toyko last night

Theballisround

Many interesting insights on the modern game can be found at COGH Executive Beer Taster Stuart Fuller's theballisround blog. Click on the link to find Stu's reminiscences of WC2006.

Match 46:
North Korea 1
Sum-Yung-Boy 25

Ivory Coast 0

The North Koreans chalk up their second victory in poor group. 'Mann's Brown Ale is a bit of a crime against beers,' says Peter - 'that doesn't say much for Tusker does it?' replies Deaks. 'The last of the group games means we can say goodbye to a lot of shit beers,' says Stu, and four tipsy heads nod in agreement. Apart from Nigeria, this completes a sorry showing for African beers overall.

Final Group G Table

		P	W	D	L	F	A	GD	PTS
1	Portugal	3	3	0	0	5	1	4	9
2	North Korea	3	2	0	1	2	1	1	6
3	Brazil	3	0	1	2	1	3	-2	1
4	Ivory Coast	3	0	1	2	0	3	-3	1

COGH Analysis: In a group with no much to recommend it at all, Portugal sweep maximum points as if by default. The North Koreans - with the weakest beer in the competition - can count themselves incredibly lucky to make the next stage. And as for Brazil and the Kenyan / Ivory Coast entries - don't call us...

Free kicks: Had you forgotten how good they are?

Match 47:
Chile 0

Spain 3
Meddle (O.G) 36, Biscuits 51, Torrid 80

Another case of a superior team taking on absolute gack. The lads are still no fans of Chili Beer 'Poo - it stinks,' says Deaks - 'it's probably a ring stinger as well,' adds Peter. Alhambra Mezquita is strong, smooth and lovely, and brushes the South Americans aside as if lazily swatting a fly during a siesta. A taxi is hired for the Chileans without a goal troubling any of their opponents.

Thought for the day

Yesterday here at COGH we hoped there wouldn't be any red cards in today's matches - and Blimey O' Reilly - there weren't any. The performances of Howard Webb and linesman Darren Cann were the best by any Englishmen in WC2010 thus far...

Darren Cann - National Hero

Match 48:
Switzerland 5
Toblerone 1, 4, 70, Tell 40, Youngboy-Byrne 29

Honduras 3
Ponce 16, 55

Every match the Swiss have been involved in has been touched with class - and this was no exception. 'This gives you the most amazing euphoric feeling - it's not like drinking normal beer,' says Peter of the 14% barnstormer that has taken the competition by storm. The Hondurans are certainly no mugs and to get three goals against the mighty Swiss is a performance to be applauded. 'Banana Bread Beer can count themselves very unlucky to be going out at this stage. Would probably win best third place,' says James with an air of regret at seeing them go.

Final Group H Table

		P	W	D	L	F	A	GD	PTS
1	Switzerland	3	3	0	0	14	7	7	9
2	Spain	3	2	0	1	10	7	3	6
3	Honduras	3	1	0	2	7	8	-1	3
4	Chile	3	0	0	3	0	9	-9	0

COGH Analysis: The Swiss go through as top scorers in the competition, as the Spanish claim a well-deserved second spot, and set up an all-Iberian encounter in the Round of 16. The Swiss should have no trouble against the North Koreans. As for Chile, the least said the better, and the Hondurans can go home very proud of the displays they have put together and the friends they've made.

Round of 16 Matches:
A1 France v Argentina B2
B1 Nigeria v Uruguay A2
C1 Slovenia v Germany D2
D1 Australia v USA C2
E1 Japan v Italy F2
F1 Paraguay v Holland E2
G1 Portugal v Spain H2
H1 Switzerland v North Korea G2
(Ties to be played same times as WC2010 equivalents)